How to protect your peace Against Toxic People! !
1, Protecting Your Peace Defined
The first thing you need to learn is how to protect your peace. But first, you’re probably wondering what protecting your peace means. In simple terms, protecting your peace means guarding yourself against things that will hurt or stress you: meaning People.
According to We R Native, it means “caring for and safeguarding your physical, mental, emotional and spiritual self – in ways that you define for yourself. Ultimately, you make the decisions and set boundaries for yourself that you determine will be in your best interests.”
2, Why You Should Have Boundaries?
The most essential step in protecting your peace is setting boundaries. If you’re a People-Pleaser, then from one Pleaser to another, I know this is hard, but it’s necessary to have boundaries. We have to have lines in the sand that other people are not allowed to cross. At this point, its self-harm, and you’re abusing yourself by letting people walk all over you and your boundaries. So, you got to toughen up, Buttercup!
Each time someone crosses your boundary, and you don’t do anything about it, you might as well have slapped yourself in the face.
I understand we all have fears, primarily about other people’s reactions. We’re scared someone might get angry. Scared someone might walk away and leave us. Scared, someone won’t like/love us anymore, but sweetie that has nothing to do with you.
These are things that are outside your control. Yet, you want to know what is in your control: protecting your peace. At the end of the day, you are the only one walking into that good night, and only you can lie that in bed and close your eyes with no regrets.
So, start now!
3. How To Set These Boundaries!
You really need to look inward and ask yourself what you will not tolerate anymore!
Ask yourself some questions and think back to those moments when you felt like absolute garbage water when that favor was no longer a favor but an expectation.
You gave 20 dollars to your friend that one time because they were in hard times, but now every phone call is about money. Your boss promises if you work over time he’ll up your pay. Did that happen? Did you get the raise you wanted or are you still doing someone else’s work/job without double the pay. Then everyone loves to say blood is thicker than water, but what happens when that water becomes as toxic as gasoline? Are you willing to be poisoned just to feel what you think is love and care? Are you willing to be bit by the very snake you raised?
I really hope your answer is NO!
So, I am telling and giving you permission to be selfish! Start saying the word NO! It doesn’t even have to be too big a things. Suppose someone wants to borrow your pen. Says No! If someone asks you to pour a cup of coffee. Say NO!
These little things will make saying no a comfortable word, so eventually, when the day comes when someone wants to overstep your boundary, you can say NO loud and proud!
.4 Saying No Practice.
“He gave me $20, so you need to give me $20 too.” – Answer NO!
“You don’t actually think we should use a condom, do you? I don’t think you mean that.” – Answer: Yes, NO sex without protection!
“I told you how I feel, you must be feeling the same way.” – Answer NO you moron!
5. What to do when someone oversteps your boundaries?
In simple terms, you should let them go.
You’ve already set the terms and agreements of the relationship by stating your boundaries. If the person you’re with doesn’t respect that, then they don’t respect you. Plain and simple.
Your boundaries can always change, and they can always evolve.
So, don’t ever be scared of standing up for yourself because if you don’t, who will?
6. In Conclusion
Protecting your peace is a beautiful thing. Once you cut out all those people who want to drain you of your energy like happiness vampires, your life will improve.
People lie all the time. Some people are so sick and twisted they take pleasure in seeing you stressed and miserable. SO, never stress or be anxious over things that are outside your control, like other people’s emotions.
If keeping everybody happy makes you miserable and dead inside, what’s the point? Remember toxic people need you, you are the host and they are the parasite. Don’t do a dishonor to yourself by staying where you are not welcome. This is why having boundaries is important because they are there to protect your sanity, and to uphold your self-worth. So, Value Yourself.
This is your life, so live it to the fullest potential!
Love Missy
The End.