How To Let Go Of People You Love And Care About.
And I’ll dream each night of some version of you
– Stick Season, Noah Kahan
That I might not have, but I did not lose
Letting people go is really hard. It’s even harder when it’s someone you care about, but sometimes, you get put into situations where the best option is letting that person go.
I know you love this person wholeheartedly, and you will feel like breaking down and screaming at a wall from this person leaving you. Yet, when this happens, you have to remember that this person is walking their own path, so let them go.
Let this person walk on their own journey and let them discover the trials and tribulations, the beauty and the ugliness of life. In life, we learn a lot of lessons, and most of the time, these lessons come from the people around us. So, take your lesson and don’t hold on for anything more.
Why Is Letting People Go So Hard?
Letting people go is only hard because you care and love the person you are with. At this moment, you can’t see your life without this person in it, even though the world is giving you every sign and signal that times are changing and the person you love needs to be loved from a distance.
Sadly, you’ve attached yourself to someone who is doing you no good. But then again, it wasn’t always like this right? There were times when playing the game together was fun, when partying every weekend was cool, and when going out for drinks was great.
But now, something’s different. Maybe the jokes don’t hit the same, or maybe it’s the way you two used to talk for hours about anything and everything, but now you two sit in a room with silence bouncing off the walls.
This is why letting people go is hard. Deep down inside, you know something has changed; you just can’t fully pinpoint it yet. So, now you’re grasping on for dear life to this person like you’re playing Tug Of War, and if you can pull just a little harder, hold on just a little tighter, then they will stay by your side forever.
I’m sorry to say, but that is not healthy. Everyone that enters your life is not going to stay. Some people are going to leave, and then moving on is not them abandoning you. You are not a lost puppy roaming the streets at night in the cold and rain. You are your own person who should value yourself enough to know when you are not wanted. And once you discover this, act accordingly.
How Do I Let People Go?
There are many ways to let people go, but here are three.
- Slowly taking steps back
2. Direct break up
3. Ghost
1. Slowly Taking Steps Back
When you know it’s time to let someone go, and you’re scared to cut it off, start purposely taking small steps back. When you take small steps back, you hang out with them less, pick up the phone less, and see them less in person.
Slowly start distancing yourself from that person until, eventually, there is no more connection between you two. Then, in this process, try to make new friends or be more productive in your life. Study for that test, go to that coffee shop you always want, and most importantly, have fun.
2. A Direct Break-Up
If you’re bold and tired of this person’s nonsense and want it to be over and done with. Then break up and wash your hands clean. If you’re in a relationship, and not just romantic, talk to this person face to face, or a simple text will do to tell them that whatever y’all had is officially over. Now, a text feels childish, so I recommend face-to-face. However, if they are a master manipulator, then text is a safe option.
Also, remember to stay vigilant. They may use sugar-flowery words and try to reminisce on the good times. DO NOT BE DECIVED! You are breaking up with this person for a reason.
If you forgive them now, you’ll be in the same situation six months from now, reading this blog post again. I need you to trust your feelings. You are not crazy, and your intuition never lies. So, why would it start now?
3. Ghost
In simple terms, disappear. There is no bye, no saying we are no longer friends, just simply blocking a phone number.
This one is on the childish side because you should at least tell the person what’s up instead of dropping them like a hot potato. It’s not pleasant, and it’s not cool.
This is the very reason people feel abandoned in this type of situation. One minute, we were ‘cool,’ and now you won’t even pick up my phone calls or say hi to me on the street. It’s not a good feeling at all.
When letting people go, we need to be gracious and humble. If you feel like you need to cut someone out of your life and let them go, then put on your big girl panties and let them know. No one wants to be the person who once had a really close friend who dumped them on the side of the road like an empty bag of chips. Then you’re left wondering why that person is gone, what you did wrong, and what you could have done better or differently.
When In reality, the answer is nothing.
In Conclusion
Now I am stuck between my anger and the blame that I can’t face
Stick Season, Noah Kahan
And memories are somethin’ even smoking weed does not replace
Letting people go is hard. No one wants to walk away from someone they care about because it will hurt. You will inevitably miss what you had with this person, but in the end, you’ll know it was for the best.
This person came into your life and hopefully helped you grow as a person. Sure, they are meant to be in your life for only a short moment but always remember the lessons you learned with or from them.
Some are good, and some are bad, but never forget how that person made you feel towards the end. As people grow, we evolve, and sadly, we can’t all do that at the same time.
Sometimes, people fall out because their values change; maybe you wanted better for yourself, or maybe you saw the path both of you were going, and only you decided to changed.
But know that whatever you had with this person is now closed.
It’s time to open a new chapter in your life, and I know you will concur.
I believe in you.
Love Missy
The End.